For many of the fair sex, this question will come at a certain point in their lives: "Am I a mature woman?" or "How do I know that I have become a mature woman?", but in my experience, this question is also asked by men: "How do I know that the woman next to me is mature?".
How do you know you have become a mature woman (emotionally mature)??
I'm going to review some of the things I personally learned in therapy about women and how I can tell that the woman I want shares the same values as an emotionally healthy man.
1. Are you yourself indifferent to what society says?
Today there are many challenges that a woman has to face and most of them come from society or social media, from the clothing style that a woman is encouraged to adopt to the proportions of her body and the way she is encouraged to behave.
An emotionally mature woman will not listen if other people criticize or judge her for any of the above, she knows that she is unique and that she has the right to express her femininity through clothing and behavior as she sees fit. She knows that whoever will love her will do so for the way she loves, not for how she dresses.
2. You have a set of values that you respect.
It is important for a woman to establish a set of values and conduct in order to live a balanced life with herself. If you create a set of moral values to follow, you will more easily filter out the people who are truly healthy for you and who will bring joy to your life. People come into your life very easily and can bring you suffering if you do not choose them based on things that match yours. Another interesting thing that happens when you follow this conduct is that you as a woman will start to respect yourself much more.
3. Celebrate your life and body because it is the temple where you will live out all your Karma.
If you think about it, your body is with you your whole life and guides you every day to new experiences and adventures, things for which we should be very grateful, because we wake up in the morning, because it is whole and helps us complete tasks successfully, and because it helps us enjoy what makes our soul happy. Most of the time we tend to blame ourselves for not fitting into certain patterns and believe me, that makes it very sad.
You can start thanking him every day with a small gesture to make him feel better, you can get him moving through an activity that he really likes, swimming, yoga, hiking, climbing. Movement is what characterizes him but if you add a little joy you will improve his mood and keep him strong and healthy. Also, nutrition and sleep play very important roles in the proper functioning of your body.
Explore your creativity with your body, take a dance class, an art or painting group, connect through music with your body, whether it's through singing or dancing.
Get outdoors and let your body enjoy fresh air, a walk in the park or a day at the beach, nature works wonders on our bodies.
Give it some relaxation at least once a week, take a relaxing bath with salts and many other personal care solutions, maybe even some petals, they can make you feel like you're blooming, haha.
4. Learn to say “no” when something doesn’t align with your desires and values.
I have learned over time and therapy sessions that this simple word made up of only two letters has great importance for your soul.
I'm sure there have been times in your life when you really didn't want to do something and yet you compromised for the sake of others, but I think somewhere inside you got really angry or maybe even fought yourself for not listening to your intuition. Well, it's very important not to betray yourself first!
If there is a situation where you can't say "no" and you still compromise, make sure you will receive a reward later. For example, if you are forced to stay overtime at work even though you don't want to, ask your mind and body to help you and you will offer yourself a reward later, maybe an ice cream, a walk, etc. It is very important, however, to keep your promise because this way you will learn to respect yourself!
5. Set healthy boundaries in your relationships with others.
I heard something at a certain point that for me remained imprinted in my mind: "how does it feel knowing that a thief was able to enter your life and steal from you because your lack of boundaries allowed him to do so?"
Your lack of boundaries allows people to take from you without giving you anything in return, maybe love, maybe obedience, I'm not talking about material things here.
Learn to find your balance between asking-giving-receiving. It is very important that what you ask for, you receive and you give back. It is very possible that when you give too much you feel wronged, but it is equally bad to receive too much.
Unconsciously, when you receive more than you can accept, you start to feel indebted and for that person to understand and stop, there is a possibility of developing a malicious attitude towards them. In psychology, this is called the executioner (aggressor)-victim relationship.
6. Establish your mission and what you want to do with your life.
A mature woman will always know what she wants to do with her life. She doesn't need a man 100% by her side to know where she wants to go or what she wants to achieve. She is not dependent on a man and is in a partnership with a man because she is independent.
When I say independent I don't mean "fever" feminism"And I mean independence as happiness, love, and attention. She doesn't need a man 100% to know how to navigate her life because he's not her father and he's her partner."
7. Mature woman works on her traumas
Past moments and events influence our present and future. An unpleasant childhood event can affect your self-esteem and the way you relate to interpersonal relationships. An unhealthy relationship from your past can affect the way you relate to all the men in your life and beyond.
Therapy helps you go back to those moments and change the interpretations of the emotions or thoughts you had at that time, so that they no longer influence your life in the present. Most of the time an unhealthy relationship with a woman's father will leave a lot of pain, suffering and maybe even hatred behind. Maybe unconsciously you will start to hate men therefore you will not be able to build a healthy and harmonious relationship with them.
It is necessary to make peace with the past in order to have peace in the present and future.
8. A mature woman knows how to say "I'm sorry"
I have met many women who made mistakes and did not accept their mistakes out of pride. Pride is just a defense mechanism that you develop in childhood but it is not healthy. You are not a weak woman if you admit your mistake, on the contrary, you are a mature woman and one of her qualities is taking responsibility!
Assumption can come in many forms, from assuming status, assuming personal life to assuming mistakes.
9. Cultivate your feminine energy
Sometimes it can be difficult to remain in feminine energy in the face of life's challenges, but not impossible.
When I refer to staying in feminine energy, I don't mean that you need to be groomed 24/7, I mean allowing yourself to be gentle, loving, sensual, creative with yourself and the man next to you.
A woman in full feminine energy trusts and lets her man handle his tasks as he knows how, without criticizing or judging him, she knows that every man is different and does things in a different way.
Spend time with yourself, give yourself small pleasures that will delight your soul, and let your creativity express itself.
10. Partnership with man, not war
Many couples enter a stage at some point where they are at war, in different areas. The mature woman knows how to manage her anger and inner fire so that she can carry out her plans. In a relationship, it is not important who earns more money or who does things better, it is important to establish common projects to work on so that things are resolved faster so that you can enjoy each other.
Conclusion
Maybe you've already found yourself in what I said above, or maybe not, but in either case it's okay.
After all, not all of us are born perfect or learned, but what makes this life interesting is the journey, not the destination!
I wish you much success on your journey to becoming a mature woman,
Sincerely, a man!
